Monday, July 10, 2017

A letter to my daughters


To my dearest Sloan and Phayre,

We are getting ready to welcome your baby brother and life is about to change!  I have been all sorts of anxious lately and I can tell the two of you are sensing it.  A part of me feels so anxious to meet your baby brother and see the two of you with him.  We are all so excited for his arrival!!  The other part of me feels like we're in such a wonderful groove as a family of four and is scared of life changing.  I don't want there to be less of me to go around.  I worry about giving each of you less attention and feeling scattered or stretched too thin.  But I know that all of this anxiety is fueled by how much I love you sweet girls.  Life is going to change, but I promise it is going to be fuller and better!

Sloan, you are going to be a big sister to two siblings!  I feel like you were a baby just weeks ago and I honestly cannot believe you're going to be the oldest of three kids.  You love your little sister soooo much, you are so good at playing with her and helping her.  I can't wait to see you love on your baby brother.  You're going to be my little helper, helping me just so that you can be close to me.  I so appreciate how much you show your love for me.  You're the biggest mama's girl there ever was and I feel so lucky I get to be your mama.

Phayre, you aren't going to be the baby anymore, but a big sister instead.  I'm having a really hard time with you not being our baby.  You sure shed your babyhood much too quickly my darling.  You are truly too good to me, you're so easygoing and I know you'll be so resilient through all of the upcoming changes.  In fact, I bet they'll affect you the least!  You talk about you baby brother non stop, constantly pointing to my belly and saying, "baby brother coming!"  You tell us constantly that you're going to hold brother and kiss him on the nose; I cannot wait to see you do this!  You are this sense of calm in our family and I am so incredibly grateful for that.  Thank you for being exactly what we need you to be, you're just so perfect my love.

There are so many things I wish I could tell you both now, but I know you wouldn't understand.  When baby brother comes mommy is going to be busy and tired (so so tired), but I promise I am going to kiss, hug, and cuddle you just as much as I do now.  I might not always have enough patience and I might even raise my voice, but I promise promise I will try my best not to.  I promise I will always remember that you're going through a big transition too.  You are my tiny best friends and you will always know just how loved you are, even on our bad days.  We may have hectic moments or even entire days, but even those moments and days will be filled with kisses, hugs, and "I love you's".

I know you are both going to be the very BEST big sisters to your little brother.  I can't wait to see each of you hold, kiss, and love on him.  I'm already bracing myself for the two of you fighting over holding him.  You are going to help your daddy and I turn him into such a sweet boy.  His future wife will be so lucky he was raised in a home with two sisters!  Sloany, you're going to teach him how to accessorize princess dresses like a pro and someday he'll teach you how to properly throw a ball :).  Phayre Bear, you'll teach him how to take care of baby dolls and make GIANT messes in a matter of seconds and someday he'll teach you how to steer your tricycle.

I guess I just want you both to know how much I love you and how proud I am to be your mama.  I am anxious about our life changing and having less of myself to give to you two.  But I am positive life will be better with baby brother and you're going to love being big sisters to a baby boy!  There will be crazy moments, moments where mama will feel overwhelmed.  I might cry and say something that I later have to say sorry for.  I will always say sorry though and remind you just how much I love and care about the two of you.  Those moments will lessen over time as we fall into a groove as a family of five.

I love you girls!  More than I ever ever thought I could love.  I promise I will wake up every single day and try my best for you.  Some days I won't feel like I was enough, but I know you'll always love me anyways.  For that I am so grateful.  Thank you for being you, my sweet sweet girls.  Now slow down and stop growing up way too fast.

Love Always,

Your Mama






Photos by Lindsey Wiatt Photography, if you're in or around Portland, OR please look her up!!

3 comments :

  1. All. The. Feels.
    This is so beautiful my friend - your girls are so lucky you are their mama x

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  2. So beautiful! Thanks for sharing! Your girls will love reading this someday. xo

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  3. Such a Beautiful letter you wrote. Your going to be an amazing mama to 3 and I'm sure your girls will be amazing sisters and help you out so much. Xo

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