Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Hi, I'm Marisa. My life is a sh*t show.

Ok, but really.  Sometimes I feel so put together, so on top of things.  And other times (well, most of the time) I feel like an absolute shit show.  Eric was out of town last week and I'm a little surprised he came home to two children who were still in one piece and a house that wasn't burnt down.  I barely cooked, schedules went out the window, and the worst part?  I had to take the trash out (my least favorite chore in the entire world).

Let's just start at the beginning of the week.  I had my annual exam (I know, tmi), but after the exam when I went to get dressed I COULDN'T FIND MY UNDERWEAR.  Like I'm positive I wore underwear to the appointment and after the appointment it had vanished.  I looked through all of my clothes, under the chair, it was gone.  In my panic all I could think was, "If they find my underwear and somehow know that it was mine, at least I wore really cute underwear today.  But damnit, I lost really cute underwear."  I thought about it the whole way home (because I WAS COMMANDO) and that night when I got ready for bed, my little wadded up panties fell out of my bra.  See, shit show.

Sloan is my constant comedic relief these days (three has its challenges, but my goodness it's hilarious).  She is saying the absolute funniest stuff lately.  Earlier today I was playing with the girls and stood up to go to the bathroom, Sloan called after me saying, "Mama, be safe and we'll miss you!  Please don't fall in the toilet or make any messes!!"  She's also becoming very good at using my words against me.  We get Sloan to eat vegetables by telling her that each one makes her better at something or helps her somehow.  Carrots?  They make you run faster.  Green beans?  They make your hair grow long like Rapunzel.  Oh and peas?  Well those are Santa's favorite so it makes him very happy when you eat them #extrapresents.  Sloan has started using this to her advantage by telling us that hot cocoa makes her stronger.  She will lay at the bottom of our stairs whining for hot cocoa so that she can gain enough strength to climb the stairs.  When I ask her to do something as simple as hanging her coat up, she'll say, "I haven't had any hot cocoa so I don't think I'm strong enough to do that today."  Ohhhh this girl of mine :).

While Eric was out of town, I finished up all of my Christmas shopping.  I wanted to get a couple of nice bottles of whiskey for some of the men in our family and I had to take the girls with me.  Don't worry, I don't make it a habit to take my kids into the liquor store.  I actually went to the grocery store and the liquor store happens to be right next door.  I parked right in front the liquor store so I decided to just run in real quick.  Anyways, I ran in with the girls and realized, "holy shit, I still have my slippers on."  And then Phayre wanted down and out of my arms which I couldn't allow because #somuchglass.  She started screeching like a pterodactyl and flailing her body around.  All the while, Sloan was singing "frosty the snowman" at the top of her lungs.  I drug the girls and three bottles of whiskey up to the counter and totally spotted my neighbor. He gave me a quick glance and then looked away, so I thought I might have gotten away with him not recognizing me.  Minutes after leaving the liquor store my neighbors wife text me saying, "I love that I sent my husband to the liquor store and you were there!!"  So apparently he very much noticed me, but was nice enough not to completely humiliate me in the middle of the liquor store.  I mean, he probably just didn't want to admit that he knew the lady who was wearing slippers and holding a flying dinosaur and three bottles of whiskey.

Phayre is sixteen months old and into everything these days.  She's always dirty.  And always falling and getting hurt.  Girlfriend is busy, but her insane amount of cuteness makes up for it.  This past weekend she was running through the house, tripped, and fell right on her face.  She chipped her front tooth and tore her frenulum.  I'm not sure who cried more, me or her.  I took her to the dentist and he said that it should heal quickly and luckily the chip is so tiny, he'll be able to file it and no one will ever notice.  Ugh these kids are giving me gray hair, I'm sure of it!  But really, I'm enjoying her age so much, I just hope that I can keep her in one piece long enough for her to turn two.  OMG I cannot believe I just thought about P turning two, didn't I just give birth to her yesterday?!  Growing up is so bittersweet!  I need to find a way to stop time so that my girls will stop growing, and so that I can stay in my twenties forever ;).

Every so often I'm good for a random, rambling blog post and I'd say I nailed it today.  I hope that you're all having a magical holiday season!  Tis the season for love and laughter, hot cocoa (for strength obviously), and time spent with family.  Oh and cranberry margaritas and screaming Santa photos :).




  1. Oh friend, this post os so reassuring to know that other people also experience sh*t shows every now and then!! Hope your week only gets better now sweet friend x

  2. Every time I stop by to read up on you and your adorable girls, you give me just what I need. Thank you a bazillion times!
    Fellow shit-show-er and momma of two ladies (3 and 17 months)

  3. Oh good! I'm not the only one with pterodactyl children. Lol. My baby flips out in target all the time! My husband says "They never do that with me." To which I reply "When have you EVER taken all 3 kids alone in a store?" Did I mention I love online shopping? Haha
    And your underwear story was hilarious! So glad you found them haha.


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